It is so hard to believe that it has been two years this month. In some ways it feels a decade ago. In other ways it feels like yesterday. There is another mom at the boys' school who was just diagnosed a couple weeks ago. She will be starting chemo in December. I feel blessed that I can be here to help her just like my friend Marcia was there to help me. I was telling some friends a while back that when you are diagnosed with any kind of life threatening illness, you then know what it's like to be teetering on the edge of a cliff looking down. All those times when we used to joke about "if you only had a year to live what would you do," takes on an entirely different meaning.
I have no clue how long I will be granted backstage access to this earth. The one thing I do know is that if it comes back in two years, I don't want to look back and think "damn. I totally just wasted two years of my life worrying." Or worse yet, I grow to be a crotchety 95 year old lady (and you know I will be crotchety) who wasted 50 years of her remaining life thinking the end is near. I decided that the majority of my day will be spent the way I would want it, as I would looking back on it.....with very few regrets. Now of course, this doesn't mean I am going to jump out of an airplane anytime soon, or that I consider watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta a waste of time like many would. I just want it to count in my own way........and watching back to back episodes of Top Chef does indeed count for something in my book.
Spending time with my boys, both big and small. Spending time with my friends who I love dearly. And spending time creating art....... that will be just enough for me. Oh.....and getting to be on the Martha Stewart Show. Then, it really will be just enough.......Well, maybe, going to see Judge Judy live. Then I will say I've achieved everything. Of course, I would not sneeze at getting a chance to travel to Europe. But If I don't, I will still be fine. I just don't think I'll be fine if I don't get to see Judge Judy. So I think I'm going to put her on the top of the list before creating art and spending time with dear friends I love. But below being with my family. Of course, if the children start to annoy me, she may possibly move up in the ranking.
So all you women out there get your mammograms!!! It just may save your life....... Talk to you soon! Karin