Someone in this family has been running up a tab at his neighborhood school. I'm not going to name names. However.......
He's five years old, goes by the alias CEO of Chaos and loves Thomas the Trains.
While perusing facebook last night, I got a call around 5:00 pm by an automated voice from the school district that a "certain someone" has an outstanding bill from the cafeteria. Of course, my mind immediately goes back to the first week of school when that "someone" would come home with a full lunch box of uneaten food. Apparently, he was just following the kindergarten herd to the feeding trough that is the cafeteria and helping himself to a hamburger. That ended when Cosme stopped by at lunch time to investigate and showed him where to sit to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that his mother slaved over a hot stove making.
So in between checking status updates, telling children to stop bouncing balloons in my craft room and waiting for the pasta to cook on the stove, I distractedly listened to a rambling message that said things like..... your son...blah, blah, blah.....unpaid balance....blah, blah, blah.....school district office.....blah, blah.......negative eighty one dollar balance.......blah......Huh?! Wha!? You have got to be flippin' kidding me! Eighty-one dollars! Holy mackerel.......Omg.....do they have a cash bar serving Appletini's and chocolate milk?! I make him lunch everyday....how in the world can this be? Does he think as CEO of Chaos Industries he has an open expense account in the lunch room?
So, of course his father and I tried to get to the bottom of it with probing questions like...."exactly where do you go when you head to lunch?" ..... "Have you ever found yourself in the lunch line with a hamburger in your hand asking how you get there?....."Why isn't mommy's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches enough for you????!!!"
It was at that point he asked for his attorney.
So, the next morning I go into the office to settle my bar tab with the cafeteria and to ask why they didn't think to call me earlier......like in October. As I'm speaking to the office secretary, as well as the head lunch lady, we determine there is only one way to solve this mystery of the wayward lunch tab...... A cafeteria lineup. I told her that in order to be fair we need to get at least four other kids the same height and hair color and have them all holding trays while looking hungry. And, I want my lawyer present. She said just bring him down to the kitchen. Despite not having my due process, I went and pulled him out of class (in the middle of the chicken dance no less) and marched him down to judgement day.
Although I tried not to coach him in what to say, I did remind him that he had the right to remain silent.
As we approached the kitchen she took one look at him and said "That's not him." Yay!! I could cancel my call to the Innocence Project and Channel 8 news. We were free to go.....well at least I was free to go catch up with my friends for coffee, "someone"on the other hand had to head back up to his kinder class and the chicken dance.
There is justice after all.......
Talk to you soon! Karin
Have I told you how much I love your blog?? In case I haven't, I LOOOVE reading your blog. Does not surprise me you would get a call with an outstanding food bill. The district needs more money. Since parents don't want to pay more TAXES, they will get their money from the kids ;). I am glad we don't have that here. My kids are stuck with the lunch I pack them. The cafeteria food here is really bad.
BTW, I love your creations. LOL
Posted by: sonia audelo | February 16, 2011 at 06:54 PM
Your heart gifts are fabulous! I love the wonderful colors and how your put them all together! Your little guy is precious!
Thanks for stopping by!
Posted by: jackie | February 17, 2011 at 05:25 AM
Just from the stories you tell, yours is the only CEO I truly like. Your stories are fabulous mixed with a wonderful sense of humor. Can't wait to see what you've created each day!
Posted by: Nancy Wethington | February 17, 2011 at 05:26 AM
My son thinks that the a' le carte section of the cafeteria is open to whatever he wants. Zebra cakes, chocolate chip cookies, TWO CHOCOLATE MILKS (for heaven's sake). I'm so glad that your little man wasn't the villan. I enjoyed the story so much it was hard to notice your beauties.
Posted by: Mandy Smith | February 17, 2011 at 05:34 AM
Love the tags.
I'm wondering where the little guy's teacher was in all this--didn't she show her students what to do/where to sit/eat, etc. for lunch, at the beginning of the school year??? It's not like a kindergartner would know from experience is it.
Back in the day the teachers sat with their students at lunch. Maybe they don't do that anymore??
Posted by: Dinahsoar | February 17, 2011 at 05:37 AM
Karin, LOVE reading your blog, and look forward eagerly to new entries! It's a sad day when there's nothing new to read! Today's post was no disappointment...your CEO's antics are hilarious! I do agree with Dinahsoar who asked where the teacher was in all this CHAOS...do they expect a kindergartener to know how to properly conduct themselves in the lunchroom unless they are shown? LOL, glad it wasn't your little guy...have a great day :)
Posted by: cindy long | February 17, 2011 at 06:46 AM
Hi Karin -
I laughed so hard reading your blog today I actually cried! I called my sister and read your blog entry to her over the phone. She got as big a kick out of it as I did. Thank you for brightening my day. And I love all your hearts and tags, they are just beautiful.
Elaine Allen
Posted by: Elaine Allen | February 17, 2011 at 08:55 AM
Dear Miss Karin,
Your Lovely Creations mixed in with your incident of Elementary Mayhem - were quite a delight! Thanks go to you and your family for keeping me entertained! Oh the stories I could share about my girls' in school =O Now it will be the grandkids' turn to shock and awe me...... I.... JUST..... CAN'T..... WAIT!
love your show!
Kathie in Ramona - 25 Bird Miles from PaperTales
Posted by: Kathie in Ramona | February 17, 2011 at 10:36 AM
HILARIOUS!!!!!
(Love the tags!!)
Posted by: Ale Loiacono | February 17, 2011 at 02:07 PM
I am waiting for your book deal Karin!
Two of them ~
1. The Chaos Family
2. Creative Chaos
xo, mary
Posted by: mary | February 17, 2011 at 02:31 PM
I am so sorry but that was the funniest story I have heard today and glad it did not happen to me.. LOL If all that is said is true what about the next kids parents. WOW!
Thanks for a great story.
As always your blog is so pretty. Great work.
Posted by: Stephanie S. | February 17, 2011 at 02:59 PM
love it- the paper art and the story. Sounds like your CEO and mine would get along fine :P Glad your son was released from cafeteria jail without bail being necessary
Posted by: Karen O | February 17, 2011 at 06:42 PM
Beautiful, beautiful tags.
Posted by: Judith Norman | February 18, 2011 at 03:55 PM
Oh, those beautiful tags - just yummy!
And the cafeteria story is so funny! Imagine some poor parent paying without inquiring about it?! My first thought, too, was why did the father have to show him where to sit,etc? Maybe he was absent the day they taught "Cafeteria"?!! You put such a great spin on everything :)
Jane-Jacksonville
Posted by: Jane | February 19, 2011 at 01:39 PM
YOuar blog is fantastic...thank you...you made me laugh and made my day!!! By the way, your art is amazing!
Posted by: Keke B. | February 19, 2011 at 06:15 PM
Karen,
This is particularly funny to me since it really did happen in our family!
I too got a phone call about an unpaid balance.
As it turns out my eight grader (yes eight grader!) was actually doing this.
For some reason she thought she cod go through the line and take milk
Without paying because nobody asked her for money. Thanks for sharing.
It is very funny.
-michelle
Posted by: Michelle Johnson | February 20, 2011 at 05:36 PM
Just love your story along with the adorable and happy images of your creations! Reminds me how I deal with life. Taking that chaos and big doses of bliss all in between! Happy week fun girl! xo
Posted by: Cherie Wilson | February 21, 2011 at 03:50 PM
This is one of the funniest, most adorable stories I have read! LOVE IT, LOVE YOUR WRITING, LOVE YOUR CREATIVITY, LOVE YOUR CEOs!!
You are wonderful Karin, I wish you the best in all you do. Thank you for making me smile every time I visit.
Juana
Posted by: Juana | February 25, 2011 at 04:55 AM