I love when the phone rings because there's always that opportunity that it might be Oprah on the other line wanting me to be one of her favorite things. Or, Martha asking for my opinion on glitter.
I looked at my caller ID and saw that it was the school. Damn. Anyway, I pick it up and hear the school secretary, Barbara, on the other end. She immediately tells me, "Don't worry the boys are ok." Which was funny because it never occurred to me that they weren't. My brain just doesn't work that fast these days. I immediately thought to myself "oh, good. She's calling about Andre's delinquent lunch tab that not only still hasn't been resolved, but is now up to $83.00." Seriously.
So, in my head, I hear Barbara's voice telling me "don't worry. We have everything under control. The perp has been caught and is sitting in jail right now." However, in my ear, I hear her say something to the effect of "head check....classroom....lice....Andres..." I'm not sure what else she said because at that point I lost consciousness as my head slammed into my desk.
You. have. to. be. freaking. kidding. me.
I told her, "I've never heard of anyone named Andres." She told me, "yes, you have. Come pick up your kid now." Damn.
So then it began. Upon arriving home I immediately locked Andres in the garage until I could come up with a plan.
Here we go........my plan:
I know for a fact, and no one can tell me any different, that there is a hummingbird behind this. I don't know how she managed it....but she did.......
So as of today, everything is calm on the homefront after a night of frantically washing every item in sight that would touch a head of hair. A brother of the accused was discovered to have them also, so it ended up being a one two punch. Luckily, the parents were unaffected
Thank God.
The two will remain at home today for another comb through before being released back into the wild. All I need at this point is some fur, a tail and a tree to sit in and I could easily be mistaken for one of those monkeys you see tending to her young on the Animal Planet.
Ok, I think it's 5 o'clock somewhere.......Talk to you soon.....Karin ;0)
I hate it when I see the school number on the caller id. It is never good news. You are handling this very well. I love how you include humor into your chaos. LOVE YOU!!
Posted by: sonia audelo | March 22, 2011 at 10:18 AM
Poor you! I was always afraid my kids would get lice but they never did. (thankfully!) I bet that ice cream is for you too!
Posted by: Debra | March 22, 2011 at 11:05 AM
Oh my goodness I am laughing so hard I actually spun my swivel chair and almost knocked myself out!
The horror! I use to be the person that did the lice checks at my children's school - it was small 180+ kids...so for weeks I was the mother EVERY child got to know and not always a good thing.
I wish I would have had Kahlua then.
Glad you have a sense of humor
Posted by: Dawnll | March 22, 2011 at 11:32 AM
I feel your pain! Been there, done that. Did not try Kahlua, might have made it easier.
Posted by: edith | March 22, 2011 at 05:22 PM
You are hilarious!!!! You always make everything so fun, even lice problems, I bet it was the hummingbird!!
Ginger
Posted by: ginger | March 22, 2011 at 06:17 PM
Too funny! I love your post it always makes me smile. Hugs, Pearl
Posted by: Pearl | March 22, 2011 at 07:42 PM
You crack me up!!! If women weren't psyco enough, God gave us children. That has put us over the edge (I guess I should probably only speak for myself). Good luck on the comb through!!
Posted by: Mandy Smith | March 23, 2011 at 05:46 AM
Oh MY! I know your pain! Better have the mimosas or bloody mary's ready for the morning! Don't forget to spray the car!
My blessings on you my child...lol!
karen....
Posted by: karen | March 23, 2011 at 06:05 AM
Ha! I have SO been there!! I think I went through every bottle of red wine in the house in no time flat.... For weeks afterward I sprayed my girls' hair with mint spray (which supposedly is a lice reppellant -- who knows?). Good luck!
Posted by: Alison | March 23, 2011 at 06:26 AM
OMG, you always make me laugh so hard! And I'll bet the momma hummingbird is having herself a good laugh as well.
FYI, coconut scented shampoo/conditioner is supposed to repel lice (Suave is super-cheap)....another mother told me that after a scare with my son (turns out it was just dandruff), but I've used it ever since and none of my 3 have ever had lice. Good luck!
Posted by: cindy | March 23, 2011 at 07:55 AM
The worst part is, that they come back. Sometimes again and again and again. If you have any questions about those little critters, feel free to email me, I'm the expert. Not that I wanted to be an expert in this.
Posted by: karla | March 23, 2011 at 08:04 AM
When I worked in residential treatment, we had thirty kids with lice at one time. It was living hell. Honestly!
Posted by: Susan Reaney | March 24, 2011 at 12:22 AM
Oh my goodness you are so funny! Great post dispite the "hair-brained" day you had! Such challenges being a mama. Hang in there :)
Posted by: Angela | March 24, 2011 at 09:54 PM
Oh wow, lice is never any fun. I remember having it as a kid, and everything had to go into quarintine. And then we had that toxic lice shampoo, rid, raid, red, I don't remember something with an R though. Nasty stuff. Anyway, hope your infestation clears up soon!
Posted by: Michele | March 24, 2011 at 10:26 PM