Creative Chaos

Because you can never play it too safe.......

After buying a $30 wristband for unlimited rides at the Del Mar Fair, I encounter this roadblock..........

 

The man at the ride wouldn't let me go on with my arm wrap.  No matter my protests that my arm was neither broken nor sprained be wouldn't budge.  I told him I would be super careful and promised to refrain from getting too wild on the ride.  Between the sad forlorn face of a four year old standing next to me and my relentless begging, he finally conceded.  But his face had a look that said "this could cost me my job lady."  

What was the ride you ask....the "MileHigher"...."Bungee Jump"....the "Death Drop" ride? 

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or the Elephant Circus Train?  

 

It may have been my imagination, but I swear it went a couple of mile per hour slower this year.......

After getting turned away from a bunch of rides by operators that didn't have a clue, I finally found out that I needed a medical waver to get on the rides.  I was thinking that maybe someone, possibly the guy who initially tried to put the wristband on my wrapped hand, or the guy who sold me the band asking me a million questions about my arm, could have informed me of this.  idiots.  Nonetheless, we had a great time as usual.  We met up with some friends and they took the older kids to the big midway, while my mom and I stayed in the kids area. 

 

We told them we would meet up with them in an hour ......or ten.  

 

 

 

So far, we have been Seaworld two times.  Possibly heading back again today.....

Fun times.....

Tragic times.......

 

Hungry times with people who think we live in Siberia.......

Hungry times with people who forgot she gained 25 pounds during chemo......

Memories of a lifetime times.....

 

 

"It's good to be back again" times.......

  

A New Normal.......

 

So Kaiser has been my new hangout lately.  Blood tests, bone scans, oncology, nuclear medicine, neurology (the last one is when I go to see my friend over there...she's a neurologist).  You should see my calender....chock full of appointments.  It's a surreal experience fitting in Carlos' afterschool activities between oncology appointments and Andres' nap time with phone calls to schedule CAT scans.  It's the new normal around here. Although, don't get too impressed with my complicated juggling of the "social" events in my life right now.....I couldn't do any of this without the help of Rock of a husband, tons of close supportive friends But most of all.......my awesome mom who lives next door to us and is just one "mom...I need your help!" away from me.  She has been here everyday since my surgery doing our laundry, cleaning my kitchen, and watching the boys for me. She retired earlier this year and it's been a blessing that she has been here to catch all the day to day stuff that falls through the cracks.  Although, I think I might have heard her on the phone the other day trying to get her old position back...hmmmm...I'll have to discuss that with her.....

So, through it all I have been wearing my new "good luck" necklace along with my other one.  The top photo is a picture of the necklace my awesome friend Heather sent me. I love it.  I wear it along with this one.....

 

It's the "thankful mama" one I tried to steal.....um, I mean eventually bought from Beth at the Barn Sale.  They both say it all right now.  So, as if that necklace wasn't enough look what else arrived in the same box on my doorstep........

 

A card from Heather along with.........

 

Tags......

   

and more tags....

 

Piles upon piles of beautiful tags made by so many of my blogger friends.....Once again I was speechless.  I slowly sorted through each and everyone while sitting on my living room floor.   I was stunned to see so many well wishes......I can't tell you how much it all meant to me on the heels of a rather tough day.......

I have to show you one in particular that stood out :)   Here's the front...innocent enough looking......

 

And then the back.......

 

LOL....Nothing like a stern lecture from Judge Judy to scare me in to recovery!!! Thanks Jeanne!!

 

And guess what I'm wearing on my lips right now!!! Karla you crack me up! I can get through anything as long as the Count is by my side  :)

I have more to say and more to show but I am taking off with my best friend Annette to go for a reflexology foot massage and lunch. She and have been friends since five year's old and know each other inside and out.  She is even more snarkier than I am so you can only imagine what happens when we get together......That poor place has no idea what it's in for later today......  

Taking it day by day......Talk to you soon!  Karin

Hi......it's me......

I actually sat here staring at the keyboard for 10 minutes unable to compose my thoughts.  I wanted to come on and give a quick update, yet felt that "quick" seemed so inadequete at this point.....I want to thank everyone who has left me messages, emails and personal notes. I also want you to know how much the support has lifted me in comfort. Never underestimate the prayers and love of bloggers in a crisis I always say....well, I guess I really didn't always say that. But, I can know bask in the truth of it.

On Thursday, I found out that I have stage III breast cancer.  I will meet with my onocologist on Monday and have further tests to see if things have ventured further out of the neighborhood of my breast and lymph nodes.  My hope is it hasn't.   This will be the last of the "waiting game" hurdles I have to cross, before my fight begins.

In the meantime, after some tears, shock and despair, I have deciding that I will kick cancer's ass in the showdown of all showdowns.  I am determined not to let this diagnosis stop me from living my life, laughing with my children, and making fun of reality shows. I received a book called "No Place Like Hope" and I bought the book "Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor".  They both embody the place where I want my mind to be right now.   And, athough it sounds trite, laughter really is the best medicine for me right now.  That and crafting.  Aside from spending time with my kids, working on art in this moment has never felt more right.  I still plan on doing my art fair on December 7th since I most likley I won't be starting chemo until after that. 

So with that said, I will be back soon to blogging.  I have some picture of our presurgery "night of a thousand margaritas" dinner. As well as some funny stories about my pre op experiences......no one can make me laugh harder than my best friends Annette & Gail.  They had me cracking up before, during and after.  Who else would sit with you the day after surgery and watch Quacker Factory and Real Housewives of Atlanta for three hours straight and make you laugh so hard you pull a stitch.....

Laughing, crafting and being sarcastic is still a part of who I am.  I refuse to let anything invade my body and take that away from me.  Never.

I'll talk to you soon.....Karin

slow healing

 

Hi gang, its Heather.
I have been playing phone tag with Karin the last couple of days. She did leave me a long message yesterday though so I thought I'd give you all a little update. Tomorrow will be one week since her surgery. She has been home recovering and getting plenty of rest. She said overall she is feeling pretty good but is having a fair amount of pain where they stripped her lymph nodes. She is having a follow up appointment today where they will talk about what was found in the pathology and when to start chemo etc. I will update you all again when i have more news. Thank you on behalf of Karin and her family for the good thoughts and prayer.
Love
Heather

Moment of Silence.....

I don't know if you all have heard about the shooting that took place in Tennesse last Sunday.  But it happened at one of my best friend's church.  Fortunately, her family wasn't there on that Sunday.  However, she and her family know the victims in the shootings.  There were many children there at the time.  Apparently, it took place during a children's performance........it's all so very tragic and horrible.......

 

It's been a non stop tour.......

This is what I've been doing since my sister and niece arrived last Thursday........San Diego Fair.....swimming at my friend's house....Sea World - twice....hitting the beach......and last but not least........

 

Heading out to Legoland today....See you later!   Karin

 

Leaving for a bit.....

{Check out all of these at my Flickr page}

I'm heading up to San Jose for my niece's graduation.  (I'm still trying to figure out how she was just 5 years old and now she's graduating from high school.......)  I'll be back in a few days.  Hopefully, if everything works out I will be meeting up with this blogging friend!!!  I just have to get the non-blogging community on board....... i.e., my mom.   It's funny when you meet up with people that not only don't blog, but, (shiver) have no clue what blogging is.  Once I was at a gathering of friends and was trying to explain to them about blogs and swaps and art friends.......My one friend said "you give this person your address? what if it's some crazy guy that's going to stalk you?!?"  I tried to explain about how you get to know a person through their blog, blah, blah, blah...... She responded with a blank face.  That's when I knew there were two types of distinct people in this world........Bloggers and non bloggers.   Now I suppose Heather can be some big burly guy named Jed living in a cabin in the woods somewhere in Montana crazily sitting at a computer looking for crafty type woman who loves vintage wallpaper, glitter and complains about her lack of crafting time because of her kids.   However, lets just take a look at exactly what "Jed" would have to do in order to make his "cover story"......Develop a blog and a talent in art. Come up with a online computer graphics business in which "he" would have to have an incredible talent and actually produce art for said business that was good enough in which other people paid.  Coordinate complicated 12 day swaps in which "he" would have to organize a multitude of people and postage........... My guess is that if there is a "Jed" out there he's trolling My Space for a cute 20 year old......not craft blogs where he gets me....a mom of two who is in desperate need of a dye job.   But how do you explain that to a non blogger?  You don't. They'll never get it.  You just nod your head and realize that they are missing out on a whole other slice of life.  

See you when I get back....... Karin

You have no idea how many titles this post had.....

within a span of five minutes......

First it was "Don't Hate Me Because I Live in San Diego"......then it was "Holy Crap! I Just Lost All the Pictures I Took Yesterday When I Tried to Download Them. I Hate My Computer!" ..... then it was "Lady Luck is in the House!  I Just Recovered Them!  So Now You Can Hate Me Again!".......

Phew!  That was a close one.  When the pictures didn't come up I felt like a piece of history was erased.  But here they are.  And this is what we did all day yesterday.......

 

So all my midwestern friends, family and readers can all feel free to hate me right now as we spent the day at the beach.  Although it wasn't exactly hot (it was probably somewhere in the range of 60 degrees with a chilly wind) it was warm enough to feel like summer is on its way.  The water was COLD though.  But that didn't stop some people from going in.....or slipping in as the case was for Carlos.  Poor guy was trying to build a dam and then slipped and fell into the puddle of water.  But, as all kids do, he managed to recover nicely and didn't seem to mind wearing wet jeans for the remainder of the day.

Andres preferred to stay dry and play with James in the sand......

And, cavort with the local squirrels who were looking for a snack.....

 

Yes, that is a woman in a bikini.  I intentionally cropped that in.......

So much work to be done on the beach....so little time......

So on Saturday I did some "Spring Cleaning" at the Chaos household by tackling my extensive flower collection.  Back in the day when I used to design and manufacture picture frames, I managed to build up quite a stash of flowers.   They have been stored away in my garage/once my studio collecting dust.  I decided that this was the day I was going to clean and organize all the flowers.  While the kids were playing in the backyard, I took out almost all the boxes and went through all of them.  I got inspired with some new ideas for them as well as decided that I will sell a bunch also.

Here's a small portion of my flowers looking all organized in their nice clean boxes.

ooohhhh Look!  A valentine for my 2009 Collection! 

Oh alright.  It's from the 2008 Collection that never happened.  Whatever.

Talk to you soon!  Karin

The Flu Kicked my Ass.........

And how I survived to tell about it....  OMG....Last time I left you all, I was complaining of a few sniffles and coughs, making fun of those crazy kids we call weather people over here and showing off chicken soup garnishes.   Honestly, it was as if I was hit by a truck. 

Here....Let me illustrate....

One minute....

The next....

You think I exaggerate...but I don't.  It all started as a normal Tuesday morning. While my mom was watching Andres, and Carlos was at school, I was filling out an application for the San Diego School district so that I could start subbing.  All of a sudden, somewhere between "where can we reach you in an emergency and what special skills do you have," an Arctic wind measuring 21 degrees below 0 blew through San Diego and right into my office.  All of a sudden I was freezing and shivering and hit with a wave of exhaustion that I haven't felt since both my kids were infants and prone to midnight feeds.  I stumbled over to the couch where I lay down my 30 pound head and hope that the three blankets I just threw on top of me can warm me up.  I then realized that I still had to pick up Carlos in about 45 minutes so I stumbled back over to the phone, called my best friend and secured his ride home.   I lay back on the couch awaiting his arrival and wondering if it was snowing outside because it was so cold in the house.   He finally arrived home and stormed through the door armed with graphs, charts and depositions as to why he should be able to play on the computer today even though he got a warning at school.  Despite his being welcomed at the door by a mom wrapped in a multitude of blankets and mumbling incoherently, he was completely oblivious to my deteriorating plight. The conversation went like this:

Carlos:  Mommy.  I got one warning but it wasn't my fault. But I still got four stars but......

Me:  Carlos. Go on the computer or watch cartoons.....

Carlos:  But Mommy...it wasn't my fault it was Juniper she wouldn't let me open my book and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.....

Me: I don't care. Go on the computer or go watch tv.....

Carlos: But let me show you what happened she took my book blah blah blah......

Me: (thinking little does he know he could be telling me he was expelled and I wouldn't care) GO PLAY ON THE COMPUTER......I'm going to lay down.....

Carlos: (Incredulous that life could take such a quick turn on easy street for him) says "OK"

I then go lay down in bed and don't get up for approximately another 30 hours.....

So there you have it.   This is where I've been since last Tuesday at exactly 1:10 pm.  I know a lot of you have been hit by this....but geez oh man....the way it just hits you is something else. Has that happened to anyone else?   

I finally crawled out of bed to the couch on Thursday and spent the whole day there, as well as Friday, watching tv.  Finally a started feeling human on Saturday.

I now have to catch up on reality and life as it was left last Tuesday......I'll catch up with everyone later! Karin    

Welcome to the "Celebration of Traditions.......Chaos Style!

 

Jill at Follow your Bliss asked everyone to talk about a few of their Christmas traditions........ 

Well, first things first......Pour yourself a steaming cup of Mexican Hot Chocolate piled high with whipped cream.   Hmmmmmm....smell that cinnamon?  That's what gives regular hot chocolate the boot out the door in the cold.  That...and the fact that I make it with whole milk and some half & half.  I will also be standing by with the whipped cream can in case you need a topper........ Yummmmyyyyy........

I have to admit that my favorite tradition right now is the fact that Carlos still believes in Santa Claus (or Sanna Claa as Andres likes to say) I will confess that I have my purely selfish reasons amongst the sentimental.  First, it's like having a virtual servant, if you will, at your beck and call..... "Carlos, honey, can you get mommy the remote"...."Carlos, honey, can you please pick up your room and all the tinker toys Andres dumped on the floor"......"Carlos, will you please serve mommy breakfast in bed"......And it is always answered with a smile and a chipper "Sure Mommy!"  Of course, any dissention to a request is met with my shaking head and a look of consternation...."Sure hope Santa didn't see that....."   

All month-long maid service aside, I adore that he still believes.  Christiane over at Seeing Red had a great post about her kids still believing the magic.  Every year since he was 3 years old, "Santa" would write him a little note telling him why he got his gifts and what a great kid he is.  It's so much fun watching him run to the living room to see if the cookies on the plate were eaten....... The presents left under the tree...... Oh, then there was the year when "Santa" forgot to fill the stockings......Oh sure, "Santa" remembered to wrap last minute gifts....."Santa remembered to write the note to the nice little boy"......"Santa" even remembered to clean the reindeer food from the sidewalk.  But that fateful year, "Santa" forgot to fill the stockings. 

To all of you listening to this sad story, I attribute it to the fact that "Santa" was nine months pregnant with Andres.  For Carlos, however, I attributed it to Santa's tight schedule and lack of a Blackberry  and reliable cell phone service to keep track of all his scheduled appointments.  I reassured Carlos that an elf would stop by the next day to deliver the forgotten goods.  I told him that I had heard of this happening before and there was no cause for alarm.  The elf got the job done the next day.

I really thought for sure some kid at school would blow the whole thing out of the water for him.  But it didn't happen and he still believes. So this year I feel as though I got the gift of magic for one more year before he start piecing the puzzle together.  And, that tradition for this year is my absolute favorite.

Another tradition that we do every year is ice skate down at Horton Plaza.  We take the trolley downtown and meet my mom at her work.  We walk over to the ice rink and do a little bit of traditional Christmas ice skating.  If you squeeze your eyes and pretend it's not 63 degrees you almost believe you're at Rockafeller Plaza with snow gently falling on your head.......

 

After skating we always head next door to this cozy little french cafe and have hot soup and sandwiches and Hot Chocolate with lots of whipped cream....

Bringing down the decorations from the attic is a huge deal for Carlos (and now as well for Andres).  It signifies the beginning of the countdown for him.  His favorite things to put out are the Christmas Village whereby he arranges it.  And then rearranges it.  And then adds things to it. And sometimes just stares at it.....

And across the room on the piano sits the "Island of Misfits"......

Cookie Baking and decorating is another big thing over here in the Chaos household.   Now, I really need to do another post on how I let go of the "artistically designed cookie baking" fantasy and replaced it with "the cheapest grossest all-in-one cookie/decorating" kit.   Even though they were the messiest, inedible cookies you had ever seen, it was such a great time!  Letting go of perfectionist fantasies is a gift in itself....... 

Well......that's it for now!  If you are here early, I will be adding more traditions later in the morning.  Time for me to hit the sack!