Creative Chaos

I'm Thankful For So Many Things......

    

Although it may seem like an odd thing to say, I really will sit down to dinner surrounded by family and friends with a multitude of blessing in which to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. 

The first one being..........A CLEAR BONE SCAN!!!!!! Woo Hoo! I just found out today after waiting since Friday.  This is where the band starts playing....the confettii falls from the sky and I continue to keep my feet firmly planted in a stage III diagnosis.  I am one test away from kissing a stage IV adios.  Although III and IV are close in number, they are worlds apart in prognosis terms. 

I am eternally thankful for my three boys....One of the boys is of the grown up variety......From the moment we waited for the diagnosis, he was ready to take on the fight.  He is my rock to lean on when the winds of despair blow through my head, as well as, always there to gently lead me back from the long dark road of unknown to the path of the "here and now."   Of course, there are the other two of the silly kid variety.......They make me laugh everyday.  They make me forget that that the term "stage III" is attached to any part of my being.  Those two boys are my heaven on earth and the reason I will live each day to its full potential.  Cancer may have taken my breast but my three boys have my heart and soul.

I am thankful for a mom who not only drives the boys to school everyday so I can sleep in, but has done all our laundry, cleaned the kitchen and fixed meals since I went into surgery.  If it were not for all her love, support and help, I know I would not have recovered from surgery as quickly as I have.  Not only will she empty my dishwasher, but does so while knowing full well I'm updating my blog..... Now that's the world's best mom!

I am thankful for all my family and friends who have lifted me up with their love and support.  My sisters who despite being all the way in Michigan make me feel as though we are next door to each other with their comfort......My aunts and uncles who have inundated me with cards, gifts, prayers  and love.......My bestest friends in the whole wide world....Gail, Annette, Hope and Chris who are always there to turn the tears into laughter on a dime, don't care how late I call and don't think I'm weird for turning every situation into a tv show........  My bestest mom friends at school.....Jennifer (my snarkalicious buddy), Joy (my psychologist who has my back), Britt (who knows what I'm thinking before I even say it), Anne (who was and is still there at every turn) and all the other moms that have made this ordeal delicious with all your food, friendship and support.......  Michelle, Helle, Julie, Diane from Paper Tales......what other store would be willing to make house calls and take you out for drinks....ONLY Paper Tales!!!  The best scrapping store in the world!! Amy and Dana who I met through Paper Tales.....Although we have only been friends a short time I feel as though we are old souls........My neighbors who even though we were all close before, have made me love you all even more (keep those chocolate chip cookies coming!)

To all my blog friends out there......I said it before and I will say it again.....people who don't blog miss out on an entire 4th dimension of life.  Seriously. You know how crazy scientists are always looking for the 4th dimension? Well we artist/crafty bloggers have found it AND proven it exists.  All they have to do is ask me and I can put an end to any more experimentation........Heather, who has been my spokesperson here and via email, lets me ramble on the phone endlessly and actually understands my, at times, incoherent babbling....Thanks Heather! I'm so glad we met when we had the chance........ To everyone who has sent me gifts and cards and emails.....it makes my fight to recover easier and makes me stronger. (and I'm still trying to catch up on all my thank yous!)  When I first started blogging 2 years ago, I knew I wanted to connect back with my art and creativity.  However, what I could not foresee was how blogging would be an integeral part of my life......how the connection would be far more than creativity and art......how I would connect with others in ways I hadn't imagined......Thank you, thank you, thank you.......

I'm thankful that I have gotten to meet some incredible breast cancer survivors in the past month.  One of whom happens to be a mom at Carlos' school with a son in Carlos' same grade.  She was diagnosed exactly a year ago with Stage III.  She has helped me immensely.  And, another who is a friend of a friend who not only survived her breast cancer diagnosis..... but did it while finishing her residency in oncology.  She lives a couple blocks from me and we got to sit down had have coffee and talk....I told her I won't complain about finishing my snowflakes for the craft fair I'm doing even though I'm sure it's the same as finishing a medical residency....:)

I'm thankful things aren't a lot worse than they could have been....

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!   Karin

A New Normal.......

 

So Kaiser has been my new hangout lately.  Blood tests, bone scans, oncology, nuclear medicine, neurology (the last one is when I go to see my friend over there...she's a neurologist).  You should see my calender....chock full of appointments.  It's a surreal experience fitting in Carlos' afterschool activities between oncology appointments and Andres' nap time with phone calls to schedule CAT scans.  It's the new normal around here. Although, don't get too impressed with my complicated juggling of the "social" events in my life right now.....I couldn't do any of this without the help of Rock of a husband, tons of close supportive friends But most of all.......my awesome mom who lives next door to us and is just one "mom...I need your help!" away from me.  She has been here everyday since my surgery doing our laundry, cleaning my kitchen, and watching the boys for me. She retired earlier this year and it's been a blessing that she has been here to catch all the day to day stuff that falls through the cracks.  Although, I think I might have heard her on the phone the other day trying to get her old position back...hmmmm...I'll have to discuss that with her.....

So, through it all I have been wearing my new "good luck" necklace along with my other one.  The top photo is a picture of the necklace my awesome friend Heather sent me. I love it.  I wear it along with this one.....

 

It's the "thankful mama" one I tried to steal.....um, I mean eventually bought from Beth at the Barn Sale.  They both say it all right now.  So, as if that necklace wasn't enough look what else arrived in the same box on my doorstep........

 

A card from Heather along with.........

 

Tags......

   

and more tags....

 

Piles upon piles of beautiful tags made by so many of my blogger friends.....Once again I was speechless.  I slowly sorted through each and everyone while sitting on my living room floor.   I was stunned to see so many well wishes......I can't tell you how much it all meant to me on the heels of a rather tough day.......

I have to show you one in particular that stood out :)   Here's the front...innocent enough looking......

 

And then the back.......

 

LOL....Nothing like a stern lecture from Judge Judy to scare me in to recovery!!! Thanks Jeanne!!

 

And guess what I'm wearing on my lips right now!!! Karla you crack me up! I can get through anything as long as the Count is by my side  :)

I have more to say and more to show but I am taking off with my best friend Annette to go for a reflexology foot massage and lunch. She and have been friends since five year's old and know each other inside and out.  She is even more snarkier than I am so you can only imagine what happens when we get together......That poor place has no idea what it's in for later today......  

Taking it day by day......Talk to you soon!  Karin

Thank you so much........

I can not tell you how much all your comments and emails mean to me.  I feel so bad that I can't get back to everyone.....but please know that with every single comment and emails I read,  I feel blessed to the very core of my soul. 

Since I have some time to myself this morning I thought I would catch you up on some things that have happened here recently.  I had a surprise guest show up at my door via Jessie.........

 

Oh yeah!..... The Count is in the house.  He even brought along two of his good friends to join the party.....

 

Where's the other friend you ask?  Well, unfortunately he was unable to make it into the picture.  Due to foreseen circumstances, he was immediately eaten by an 8 year old and his mother.......Thanks Jessie from the bottom of our chocolate filled hearts!!!!

I also wanted to show you that everything still remains the same here in the chaos studio as I try to get ready for my art and craft show.......

 

 

As usual I have approximately 3 square inches left on my floor in which to work.  Everything is in a state of half-doneness.  I have about 2 1/2 weeks to hopefully get at least one thing into a state of whole doneness.  I figure if worse comes to worse, I will just attempt to sell one of my ornaments for $300 dollars so I can make up for my table cost and time.   I figure I'll just encase it in a plexiglass cube and start talking nonstop nonsense on how it's an  early 19th century  vintage ornament used by dukes and knights in England during wartime.  Someone is bound to buy my story. Although, I am a bit worried they will recognize the base of the ornament from Target.....hmmmm....I still have to work out that little kink......

So as I said before in my other post I have been reading some kick ass books on staying postitive and focused on my journey.  The one book I am loving right now is Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor.  She is so in a place that I want to be mentally.  I keep her book on my night stand and just flip open a page to read and it gives me strength knowing she is surviving this too.  One of the things I decided to do was to overhaul my diet so that I'm at the optimal health when I start chemo.  So, I started reading her diet recommendations and realized that this might be a little bit harder than I anticipated. She is a raw food vegan who basically shuns everything unless it's a green oranically grown, locally produced vegetable. Oh boy, I'm already in trouble. 

First on the list....No caffeine.  Well, just shoot me in the head right now.  No..really.  Just do it.  Ok. fine....I'll give up my beloved cup of morning coffee and drink tea.

Second.....no sugar.  And that includes store bought fruit.  Holy crap.  Here I am feeling all good about myself because I just ate an orange instead of that pile of cookies and then I come to find out I'm screwed either way.  Ugg....

Third......drink 36 oz of freshly juiced cucumbers, spinach, brocolli, bean sprouts, peas, and whatever else you can throw in there that is green.   Hmmmmm....that's a lot of green stuff to down in one day.  On one hand, I don't want to be on my death bed two years from now wishing that if "I had only drank the gross green stuff I would still be alive."  But then on the other hand, I don't want to be on my death bed two years from now thinking "For the love of brocolli, I can not believe I spent the last two years of my life drinking that crap when I could have been eating a bowl of ice cream."  It's a conundrum.....I'll have to think about this one.

I do have some other options though. I have a anti cancer book on order that I think lets you eat an egg and a banana.  So I might end up going with that option.

Ok...I'm off to go with Cosme to pick up Carlos from school.  I'm soooo excited to see everyone.  Also, I wanted to let you know that in the next few weeks I'm going to be having some guest bloggers come on when I'm unable to blog.  These will be some good friends who were told they could have free reign at it.  So who knows you might get a whole expose on me.  :)  

Talk to you soon!  Peace, Love and Blessing from Karin

Hi......it's me......

I actually sat here staring at the keyboard for 10 minutes unable to compose my thoughts.  I wanted to come on and give a quick update, yet felt that "quick" seemed so inadequete at this point.....I want to thank everyone who has left me messages, emails and personal notes. I also want you to know how much the support has lifted me in comfort. Never underestimate the prayers and love of bloggers in a crisis I always say....well, I guess I really didn't always say that. But, I can know bask in the truth of it.

On Thursday, I found out that I have stage III breast cancer.  I will meet with my onocologist on Monday and have further tests to see if things have ventured further out of the neighborhood of my breast and lymph nodes.  My hope is it hasn't.   This will be the last of the "waiting game" hurdles I have to cross, before my fight begins.

In the meantime, after some tears, shock and despair, I have deciding that I will kick cancer's ass in the showdown of all showdowns.  I am determined not to let this diagnosis stop me from living my life, laughing with my children, and making fun of reality shows. I received a book called "No Place Like Hope" and I bought the book "Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor".  They both embody the place where I want my mind to be right now.   And, athough it sounds trite, laughter really is the best medicine for me right now.  That and crafting.  Aside from spending time with my kids, working on art in this moment has never felt more right.  I still plan on doing my art fair on December 7th since I most likley I won't be starting chemo until after that. 

So with that said, I will be back soon to blogging.  I have some picture of our presurgery "night of a thousand margaritas" dinner. As well as some funny stories about my pre op experiences......no one can make me laugh harder than my best friends Annette & Gail.  They had me cracking up before, during and after.  Who else would sit with you the day after surgery and watch Quacker Factory and Real Housewives of Atlanta for three hours straight and make you laugh so hard you pull a stitch.....

Laughing, crafting and being sarcastic is still a part of who I am.  I refuse to let anything invade my body and take that away from me.  Never.

I'll talk to you soon.....Karin

slow healing

 

Hi gang, its Heather.
I have been playing phone tag with Karin the last couple of days. She did leave me a long message yesterday though so I thought I'd give you all a little update. Tomorrow will be one week since her surgery. She has been home recovering and getting plenty of rest. She said overall she is feeling pretty good but is having a fair amount of pain where they stripped her lymph nodes. She is having a follow up appointment today where they will talk about what was found in the pathology and when to start chemo etc. I will update you all again when i have more news. Thank you on behalf of Karin and her family for the good thoughts and prayer.
Love
Heather

Chaos Update

Hi All, This is Heather with a Karin update.

Her surgery went pretty much according to plan this morning. She was out and in recovery by noon and last I heard was going to be released to go home and sleep in her own bed tonight. The good news is that the surgery went well. There was some spreading into lymph nodes which was not entirely unexpected. From what I understand she will have an MRI in a week or so to make sure they got everything they could and her chemo will start in about 2-3 weeks.

The boys are with friends and grandma. I am out of town now and will be checking in with her when I get back and give you all another update.

Speechless.........

No. Really. I am.   I know...I know....all you regulars out there can't possibly believe it.  "Call her doctor stat...... for God sakes call 911...this must be serious...because she never shuts up. No. Seriously. She doesn't. Just ask her husband" 

But I am.  Speechless.    I pondered not saying anything at all as to not bring negativity into other's lives.  I thought maybe I could say my absence was due to People finally seeing the errors of their ways and picking me up for the Snark Daily column of their magazine.   Or, maybe The "CEO of Tomfoolery" finally got fired for insubordination and watching Wow Wow Wubsy on the job resulting in my new crazy busy position of "CEO of Chaos."   But, then I thought, no, I lay everything else out here on my blog like a tableloth, why not this.  Plus, just being able to write about it and get it to travel from my head to my fingertips to the keyboard to a blank page helps to maybe make sense of it all.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has stopped by to say hi and offer prayers.  I am trying to answer everyone personally....but getting a bit behind.  I been busy over here trying to make life as normal as possible before we venture into a new crazy normal. I thought I could give you an illustration of how I have felt lately:

 

A rollercoaster. This was when we went to Legoland while waiting for the biopsy results.....I love this picture.

I also wanted to share my new snappy short haircut.  We are dubbing it the "Now you see it...Now you don't" do. 

   

We had our 6th Annual Halloween Chili Party as usual over here at the Chaos house.  We get tons of Trick or Treaters so it's alway a fun night......combine that with a bunch of friends, their kids and mulled wine cider and you have a blast. Did I mention lots of mulled wine cider?  Do you like my costume?  It's called "girl who lives in Southern California and gets to wear a tank top on Halloween night"  I'm sending it to my sisters who are in 40 degree Michigan right now.  They hate me.

Here's Carlos as Darth Vader 2nd year in a row......I like to think we're being "green" this holiday by recycling costumes.....

 

Here's part of the gang on the lawn........

 

ignoring trick or treaters while these two guys below doled out the candy.....

 

I think this is where the 18 year old girl dressed as a "sexy" bumblebee walked up....hence the expression on my husband's face.   He kills me when he hands out the candy.....Not only do you get a piece of candy...but a bit of snarky attitude if you are  a) trying to pass yourself off as a "15 year old kid dressed in a t-shirt"....  b) pushing an infant in a stroller collecting candy for said infant..... and, c) a 16 year old girl wearing a waaaaay to revealing outfit and calling yourself a bumblebee.  They all should know after all these years to just bypass our house  Because, really, no Fun Sized Snickers bar is worth the comments from Cosme.  But come they do....

And, then here we have the CEO trying to come up with a last minute costume. After weeks of telling me "no halloween....no dress up....I be Andres."  I find him walking down the hall last night with his bed quilt on top of him.  I asked him what he was and he said "a bankee"  I suggested the smaller Thomas blanket (which is actually a yard of fabric that was fully intended to be a blanket at some point) and he obliged.  Here he is looking more like a little sheperd boy who was really into Thomas the Trains......

 

I, of course, was branded the the uncaring clueless mother sending her kid out with a fabric swatch on his head to go collect candy for me to eat later while watching Late Night with David Letterman. Luckily he only made it to 3 neighbor's house.  And, frankly they weren't surprised with his costume in the least.....

 

 

So there you have it......

As I enter into the last week before the big day I will be popping in and out.  Heather will be posting for me after surgery here on my blog with updates on everything since I probably won't be able to post anything for a while.   

Oh...you know how they say good always comes out of bad?  Well, Gail will be coming down from LA on Thursday before my surgery with her arms filled with unedited Judge Judy tapes.  Yep.  I will be recovering with marathon, back to back  episodes of unedited Judge Judypalooza.....Will the fun never end? 

I'll talk to you soon! Karin :)