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Wig shopping turned out to be much more fun than I had anticipated. After mortality and I had worked out all our personal relationship issues, I was free to let loose and have a good time.
I just need to make a side note that the wig shop is also conveniently located right next to a Hooters. Coincident? We'll never be sure. However, I thought with all the free time on my hands, I might just apply for a job there. But then I reconsidered upon realizing the time I would have to devote to a subsequent lawsuit after they rejected me because I only have one "hooter". I just don't have that kind of time in my schedule right now what with reality tv show watching and blog giveaway juggling.
So with my Hooter's career on the shelf, I realized other dreams could come true when I saw this sign upon first entering
Yay! A Miley Cyrus wig!!!! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. Here's my chance to look 20 years younger and pretend that I have talent. Then my dreams came crashing down all around me, similar to a mid-90's Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Heart career, when a salesgirl patiently explained they were all out of my size. Dreamcushers.
Wandering aimlessly, through my tears, I saw the sign for the Real Housewives of San Diego Casting Call.
Yes! There is a God! I ran over there demanding the application. After reviewing all the pertinent information, they told me I would not be eligible based on the fact that I had an uncanny resemblance to Kim of Atlanta and Laurie of OC and they did not want to duplicate their efforts. Also, I was unable to consume enough large amounts of alcohol to ensure revealing of castmate's dirty laundry, insecurities and behavior that are generally reserved for high school girls and maintain a delusion of class through wealth. However, the biggest reason for my rejection was I refused to leave my husband for a rich 70 year old while simultaneously dropping 50 IQ points.