BEFORE KNOCKING, YELLING OR CRYING PLEASE CHECK THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:
- Does it involve blood?
- Does it involve fire?
- Is someone not breathing? (Hyperventilating while crying does not count)
- Is there someone at the door holding an oversized check, balloons and a microphone?
If it does not involve any of the above items do not, and I repeat, do not knock on this door. This includes, but is not limited to:
- asking where your tootsie pop is and can you eat it now
- telling me your little brother won't let you watch World's Most Extreme Rollercoasters
- Telling me your big brother won't let you watch Yo Gabba Gabba
- wanting to brush you teeth at that precise moment
- notifying me the cat needs food and won't stop meowing
- asking what your password is for Toon Town
- both of you coming to the door arguing about something that I neither care nor want to care about in this lifetime nor the next.
I believe that by following these simple rules you will find that mommy doesn't stomp out of the bathroom as often proclaiming everyone is losing computer privileges for the rest of their natural lives. (and yes, I will call your wife and tell her to tell you to get off the computer) Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. If you have any complaints or questions please fill out a form in triplicate and file it with management.
