Creative Chaos

Big Adventures......

Carlos and the rest of his class went on an overnight field trip on The Californian as 18th century sailors.   They have actors playing the part of the crew and have the kids doing things that would normally happen during that time.  Dinner will consist of corn chowder and fish sticks.  His father, younger brother and I will be heading out for pizza and a salad.   They wanted the parents to write a letter as if we were in that time period.   Of course, I had a blast with it and thought I would share it with you.........

                                                                                                April 27th 1774

My Dearest Son Carlos,                                            

    I hope this letter finds you well and safe in your new sea faring accommodations.

    Although, I’ve been crying every night into my hay filled pillow, I know that you are being brave in your new adventure at sea.   Your father and I have been keeping busy for the last few weeks as to lessen our heartache of your absence.  Your younger brother, on the other hand, just noticed you were missing yesterday.   He has been enjoying the extra servings of cornmeal mush, pickles and gruel at the evening supper.  However, that will all soon come to an end as we have decided to trade him out for an extra couple of chickens, some coffee and a goat for the summer months.  I’m afraid that as much as I love your brother, I could not live without my beloved hot beverage another minute more. 

    He will be in good hands in the upcoming months, as he is going to be working for Mr. Lord Hingleberry operating that new-fangled printing press that’s all the rage nowadays.   Frankly, I don’t see how a printing press is any better than taking pen to paper.  If using an ink well and quill was good enough for great-grandma Guadalupe, then it should be good enough for these young whippersnappers.  

    Anyhoo, I just wanted to let you know your father is getting grumpier by the moment with all the rumblings going on in town about this talk of “revolution.”    It has been hard keeping good help at his cabinet shop nowadays with all the young men leaving for a crazy notion of fighting the British Army.  I have never heard of anything so ridiculous in my colonial life.

     Your father was even saying that he thought it might be possible to defeat them.  Well, I told him no one is defeating the British Army until I get my new kitchen cabinets built.    

    I must end this letter now as Mrs. Snootensnard is coming over for a spot of tea.   She wanted me to mention her daughter Bernice sends her regards and is anxiously awaiting your homecoming.  Your father and I  will continue to pray for your safe return.   Also, if you come across any good coffee or tea sellers, please pick up some dark roast for me.   

All my Love,  Your Mother

 

I know it's the time of year to be thankful.....

but I'll get to that tomorrow.  Today I'm feeling a bit cranky.  It was all spurred by this.........

As I was standing in line at the grocery store, out of the corner of my eye, I caught this headline "Inside the Final Days!"   OMG...I had no idea they died! No one told me they were stranded in a coal mine with only a can of green beans to sustain them. I can only wonder what their "final days" were like....stranded in a cold dark mountain fighting for their last breath.  Silently saying good bye to friends, family and the paparazzi....nooooo...Why them!!??  They're so young and beautiful!! And, although, I'm really not sure that they made any sustainable contribution to this world, it really doesn't matter when they are so young and beautiful!  Whaaaaaa....life is so unfair!!  Whaaaaaaa.....Why do the young, rich and beautiful always seem to die first.....Whaaaaaaa..................Oh...... Wait. They're not dead? "Final Days" refers to their divorce?

I seriously thought Demi Moore had died when I glaced at this cover.   If it weren't for the $290 million price tag, this sounds exactly like what happened to my neighbors Bert and Madge Hinglesthorpe that live down the street.  Except, instead of them being on the cover of a magazine, we all thought they were kind of nutso and stayed away from them.

Next up......Why does Costco insist on having food sample stations at the end of a congested aisleway during the week of a major food buying holiday.  As I headed toward the produce and specialty food section hoping to snag a roasted chicken and some bananas, I happened upon a crunch of people standing by their huge carts surrounding the mini quiche sample stand like it was a russian soup kitchen in mid-century Bulgaria.  Seriously people.....I love mini quiches as much as the next person.  And, truth be told, I will eat more than my fair share at a party if I can get away with it.  But come on....it's not like we are all stranded in Costco after an earthquake and it may be our last meal.   Keep the aisleway moving.   I will buy all of you a box of 72 mini quiches if you just promise to move this crowd scene to the parking lot.........

Black Friday.  Sigh.   Remember back when Thanksgiving used to be Thanksgiving?  The family would gather around the table...eat until they couldn't move, roll themselves in front of the tv and then sit there with a plate of pumpkin pie perched on their belly until it was time for bed. 

And, Black Friday was just that.  An event that started on Friday.  Early, early in the morning around 7:00 am....sometimes even 6:00 am for those wild and crazy people looking for $20 televisions and free walkmans.  Those were the days.    

Now it appears Black Friday starts somewhere in the vicinity of the week before Thanksgiving and Fourth of July.  Shoppers are now being encouraged to grab a deli meat turkey sandwich and head for the malls.  Why get up at six in the morning when you can camp out in a cold parking lot on a Tuesday night for really great deals.   Sigh...... To Thanksgiving:  I love you and I will never, ever leave you and your delicious sweet potatoes.  Never.  You can count on me to sit there on the couch eating an entire pumkin pie in your honor.  And, lots of rolls with lots butter.  Oh, and tons of stuffing.  I love stuffing.  And, in your honor, I will sleep in until 10:00 am the next morning just for you. Maybe even 11:00 am. Thant's how much I cherish you.   Love and Kisses with all my heart and stomach, Karin

Talk to you soon!  Karin

Adventures in substitute teaching....

Hey everyone......It's been a busy week for me as I've spent the past few days subbing 3rd and 4th graders.  I've mentioned before that I've been substitute teaching at the boys' school for the past year.    I love it.  I wrote about it here earlier in the year.  So, what I adore most about it is when I find myself saying things like this......

"So, exactly what part of the math worksheet required you to glue your hand to the side of your face?"

You just don't find yourself spouting out gems like that in normal everyday conversation.

Or, yesterday when I had to tell my third grade class that although I know they think they are being helpful, I do not want to hear "any more unsolicited advice" from them.   Because what usually happens is it starts out with one well meaning, yet talkative student, who is frantically waving his arm, dying to help out with a directive such as.... "when you give us the spelling test, you need to tell us each word so we know what to write!"   It is then continued by ten other kids chiming in on various ways a spelling test may or may not be given.   And then later always ends with something to the effect of...."We just got a new puppy and she pees all over the rug!"

Always.

But like I said, I love it.  Third and fourth grade is so much fun.  They have the unique combination of still being young enough to be easily entertained by my silly sense of humor, yet old enough to get my sarcasm.  But the most important thing is you can use the "side eye" on them.  The side eye is an important tool that can be accessed in any part of the room and shot across a myriad of desks and heads to hit the errant student with laser like precision.  Because in the end, he or she always knows that what they are doing is wrong and is always on the lookout for impending reprimand.   Once your eyes meet the alleged suspect holding a paper airplane about to be shot mid air, it's amusing to watch his entire body work in reverse slow motion to put it back in his desk.  The "side eye" needs to continue for a few more seconds and then it slowly goes back to helping someone figure out where she lost her Hello Kitty barrette. 

See, now in kindergarten and first grade "side eye" will not work.  That's because they are moving too fast and their little squirrely bodies are never still long enough for "side eye" to to find a landing point.  Plus the fact they never think they are doing any wrong....they are just living life as they see it should be lived.....being silly.   In these grades it's all about crowd control and solving problems that range anywhere from a small scratch that involves the entire class scrambling for a bandage and a doctor to simply tying a shoe.  

But what I love most is looking at those little faces that come to you in such earnest with all sorts of things to be said, asked and tattled.    Like I said, I love it.  

Ok....I'm off to clean my house!  Talk to you soon....Karin    

What I wore Monday.........

Source: polyvore.com via Karin on Pinterest

 

It was so funny....because when I saw this on Pinterest, I thought "That's the exact outfit that I am wearing to take the boys to school and then go on the fire station field trip with the first graders.....what a crazy coincidence!"   Other than the $2,855 Bottega Veneta perforated suede tank top (which I will seamlessly replace with my $7 Target tank), the $305 ribbed asymmetrical hem cotton cardigan (which is virtually indistinguishable from my gray Pirates of the Caribbean hoodie), the $165 Tommy Hilfiger Rome Jeans (which I will substitute for my $30 plus 20% off pair of Levis) and the $341 Badgley Mischka Cherise Leather Satchel (which I will have to replace with my Liz Claiborne backpack purse for the field trip), this is what I will be sporting come Monday morning! 

Sigh......A girl can dream.......

At least I will look good in my imagination.....sigh.....   

BIG....HUGE....EXCITING News.....

Seriously....this news is so big, so huge and so exciting that I may have to borrow someone else's blog just to fit it all in.....Quite possibly, even a third blog...... that's how big this is.

So, if you have been following my blog for any amount of time you may remember Part 1 of....There's No Way my Kid Ate $83.00 Worth of Lunch Food and Other Misconceptions of the Kindergarten Years  back in February.   This was a time where the whole family gathered around and proclaimed the innocence of the accusation that a 6-year-old was capable of consuming $83.00 worth of chicken nuggets and carrot sticks on the school's dime.  Houses were mortgaged for legal teams, tv news stations were contacted and protests were forming in front of the school all in the naive belief that my child would never just throw away my love and peanut butter sandwiches for a school hamburger......sigh. 

Then came part Part 2 of....My Innocent Son Would Never, And I Mean Never, Turn in his Lovingly Made Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich for a Fried Mozzarella Stick...and Other Tales of Mommy Turning into the Biggest Idiot That Ever an Idiot was in the Kindergarten Years.

Sigh. Again.   As you know, I was duped by said 6-year-old who apparently got confused and enticed by the smell of hot dogs and somehow made his way into the lunch line thereby running up a $83.00 tab with the school district.   

Only me.

So after several attempts to discuss it with the school district, citing a little known code in the school district lunch rules and responsibilities manual: Section 6, paragraph 12, sentence 3, common sense 1, I told them if they can't keep track of student lunch tabs rising to over $80.00 due to a wayward kindergartner who has never been to a lunch line before, then it's not my problem or concern.  So there.

And then I hurried up and hung up before they could say anything else to me.   

No....I really did tell them that I wasn't going to pay for their ineptness when it comes to tracking lunch tabs.   I told them unless I followed him everyday to the lunch room there was little I could do to know what was going on.   Of course, my husband wanted me to pay it off right away and just be done with it.  HA!    I told him "Are you crazy!  This is the principle of the thing!   This affects everyone at the school!  This 83.00 could buy a lot of craft supplies at Paper Tales! I have a moral obligation here!" 

There was no way I was giving in that easily.  Reputations were on the line....plus, a shopping spree at Paper Tales was just in my reach.......

So here's the big, huge news.....Because I just know everyone has been sitting on the edge of her virtual seat wondering how this conundrum was going to play itself out.  Well wait no more because I just got notice the other day his lunch tab was down to $0.   Yay! Told you it was super huge.   Either my highly coordinated flash mob protest paid off.....or, they were just sick of calling me. Which ever way you look at it,  it spells more glitter and stamps for me......off to Paper Tales!   Talk  to you soon....K

My life in the last few months.......

 

Excitement revolving around nesting birds and second chances turn to tears when we discover that the neighborhood crow gang ransacked the nest and stole the eggs......

However, tears turned into joy when we discovered not only another mourning dove nested in our tree........

 

But a little wren made her home on our terrace.  Apparently, since there were no soccer balls involved in the loss of the eggs, our backyard was left on the "ok to nest" zone.   However, no hummingbirds have returned.  I understand their bitterness.

But the joy once again turned to tears when.......

 

the lice returned.  I seriously almost lost the very last two brain cells that I possessed.   Three times dealing with this.   Three times.  So, I went all Norma Rae/Karen Silkwood on the school and demanded either they bring in the Hair Fairies to check all students or they would be soley responsible for incurring all costs at the "Mommy's Finally Lost Her Marbles" Recovery Center.   Since it would be at least a six week stay (probably realistically more like six months), they felt it would be more fiscally responsible to call in the pros.  Fourteen children later.....problem solved.  While standing around while heads were being checked, I had a chance to talk to a couple of the ladies who do this for a living and found out they charge $95 an hour......$95 an HOUR! What the!    It was right then and there I decided to make a career change.   Holy mother of nit picking.....while I was sitting there for three hours combing out his hair while watching back to back Wow Wow Wubsy for FREE (which I am almost positive is an interrogation tactic in some third world countries), I could have been making some serious chump change.  I ultimately decided against it because, well, I really didn't want to see another one of those things ever.  Again.

The lice were not the only thing we said adios to........

 

Someone lost a tooth!  He swallowed it while eating a corn dog.  Never even realized it. 

 

We got a super late start on the garden this year......Thanks goodness the garden gnome was there to supervise all digging and planting.....

 

Ta Da......Here it is as of yesterday......

 

We've got corn, tomatoes, jalepenos, cucumbers and cantelope.  I'm not too sure about the corn this year.  It looks way skinnier than last year when we started it from seed.  But the tomatoes are way bigger and heartier than last year's. 

Here's last year.....

We spent a week up in LA where we fell off of trolley cars.....

 

And ran from runaway locomotives......

 

After all the train spotting, we stopped for some frozen yogurt. I have to show you a sampling of Carlos' creation.  Yes, you see that correctly.  It's a little used topping mixture of watermelon, sour gummy worms, pineapple, and cookie dough pieces.  There were some other unidentifiable things in there that were better left unidentified.....

 

Doing some time at the cove......

 

If you look to the upper right corner of the picture you can see that we share the beach with some flippered friends....

 

 

 

That's it for now!  I shall return.....Karin

    

 

 

Sometimes we get a second chance.........

 

Look who flew in the other day and made our terra cotta planter home.  After the "Hummingbird Tragedy of 2011" that happened a few months ago, I was surprised that any bird would fly through our backyard much less take up residence. Apparently, the word on the street and in the air is not as bad as I thought.  Or, this little feathered friend is deaf.  Either way, she chose our backyard as a landing spot to nest.  I'm so excited to be redeemed in the eyes of the bird community.  

 

In order to accomodate her every need, we have instituted a strict "no soccer playing" policy.  I  have also decided there will be no running, laughing, talking or general silliness to be had within 20 yards of the new nest.   Carlos is to be on call 24 hours a day to handle any requests she may have for worms, sticks and turn down service.  

 
 
It's all up to me to make it right this time.   I won't let her down! 

Talk to you soon!  Karin

Thanks so much......

 

for all the emails and advice for lice issue.  What a week......Cosme offered to take me out to dinner and a stiff drink last night.  But I declined on the basis it would involve having to get dressed up and look presentable.  All I wanted to do was take a long hot shower and crawl into bed.   Both boys are back in school now and I am left with a to do list a mile long.  Number one on the list is taking care of the still unresolved lunch tab.  It's now up to $83 and the lunch lady is now recanting her original story of clearing Andres from any wrongdoing.  Another lunch lady, who appears to be in charge, with a clipboard in hand is now telling me, despite it being the first time she's ever laid eyes on me, that Andres is indeed the guilty culprit.  

Really.   

Sigh...... I'll be back with the whole story tomorrow along with a fun tutorial on how to make votives using acrylic paper.   

Talk to you later!  Karin  

So yesterday I get a phone call.........

I love when the phone rings because there's always that opportunity that it might be Oprah on the other line wanting me to be one of her favorite things.  Or, Martha asking for my opinion on glitter.   

I looked at my caller ID and saw that it was the school.  Damn.  Anyway, I pick it up and hear the school secretary, Barbara, on the other end.  She immediately tells me, "Don't worry the boys are ok."  Which was funny because it never occurred to me that they weren't.  My brain just doesn't work that fast these days.  I immediately thought to myself "oh, good. She's calling about Andre's delinquent lunch tab that not only still hasn't been resolved, but is now up to $83.00."  Seriously.

So, in my head, I hear Barbara's voice telling me "don't worry.  We have everything under control.  The perp has been caught and is sitting in jail right now."    However, in my ear,  I hear her say something to the effect of "head check....classroom....lice....Andres..."  I'm not sure what else she said because at that point I lost consciousness as my head slammed into my desk.  

You. have. to. be. freaking. kidding. me.

I told her, "I've never heard of anyone named Andres."  She told me, "yes, you have. Come pick up your kid now."   Damn.

So then it began.  Upon arriving home I immediately locked Andres in the garage until I could come up with a plan. 

Here we go........my plan:

I know for a fact, and no one can tell me any different, that there is a hummingbird behind this.   I don't know how she managed it....but she did.......

 

So as of today, everything is calm on the homefront after a night of frantically washing every item in sight that would touch a head of hair. A brother of the accused was discovered to have them also, so it ended up being a one two punch. Luckily, the parents were unaffected

Thank God.

The two will remain at home today for another comb through before being released back into the wild. All I need at this point is some fur, a tail and a tree to sit in and I could easily be mistaken for one of those monkeys you see tending to her young on the Animal Planet.  

Ok, I think it's 5 o'clock somewhere.......Talk to you soon.....Karin ;0)

 

           

Sigh. When excitement turns to sorrow.......

 

It was quite a day over here in the chaos household.  Our pure excitement over our little hummingbird visitor turned to tragedy when an errant soccerball went flying into the small tree that held the tiny nest of eggs.  I wasn't even aware that it had happened until I heard sobbing coming ffrom Carlos' room.  I was able to decipher through all the hyperventilating and crying something to the effect of: soccerball, eggs, ground, killed, I didn't mean it....... I immediately ran to the back yard thinking it all had to be a horrible mistake.   There was no way this could have possibly happened because not more than 20 minutes ago I specifically told him to "stop kicking that soccer ball around in the yard.  We have eggs incubating here!" 

I climbed on the chair; peered into the nest and saw one lone little feather sticking up.  I think it's a bird's version of the finger........

 

Very sad.   Just the day before we had looked up all the facts and trivia on hummingbirds.  I was keeping daily update on my facebook page.  I already had blog posts in my head about how the mama bird sat so still and statuesque in her nest due to the fact she was reserving all her energy for those midnight feedings as well as pondering whether she should go back to work or stay at home.  I was ready to install a live web cam........

And then with one kick of the soccer ball, all dreams and excitement  came crashing down on the cement.  I made an emergency facebook message to my friend Fie who is an expert in birds with questions like.....should we put the cracked eggs back in the nest.....will the mama come back....do you think she's sad and crying in some tree......will we be banned in the hummingbird community as a housing option.....will she bring all her mean "other side of the tracks" hummingbird friends back to attack us....how easily swayed are they with a fancy double deck hummingbird feeder....

Luckily she wrote back very comforing words to me.  She said "she is probably already working on her next nest"....and some not so comforting words......"just not in your backyard."   I'm fine with that. Sort of.   I guess I just can't be trusted with a bird nest in the backyard. 

So goodbye little hummingbird that brought so much joy to our family for two days.  You and your little eggs will be missed.......

 

Ok...I'm off to buy the fanciest hummingbird feeder I can find.......Talk to you soon...Karin