Creative Chaos

Chemo brain - part deux......the saga continues........

But before I get into all of that, I need your help with a few things technical.  I thought I would put it out there to the collective brain power, otherwise known as my awesomely smart and talent readers, to come up with some solutions to my never ending list of problems and annoyances.  Ok, here goes......

1. How in the world to you sew through paper?  With the exception of one needle, I have broken all my needles trying to do the cute little stitching that appears on thousands of craft project daily. Someone knows the secret and they refuse to share it with me......

2. To all you typepad people, how do I get those cute little pictures on the side bar.  Spent many an hour trying to figure out that mystery......

3. Does anyone know how to use a downloaded zip file.  I have some cute things I downloaded to use with my Photoshop program, that I still can't figure out how to work, and I have no idea how to access zip file.....

OK, discuss amongst yourselves and come back to me with answers that are a) easy to understand and, b) won't confuse me more than I already am.  Thanks!

So here's the deal. Lately I've discovered, I am an annoyance to the community and a threat to my family's welfare with my wandering chemo infused brain.  Seriously, I am.  Don't believe me? Well let me just give you a few examples that will make you so happy that I'm not living in your neck of the woods:

 

• At my bank, I stood in front of the teller announcing to him "I would like to deposit this cash" and then proceed to look at the "invest in your future with a 2.3 apr IRA" poster, thereby lulling myself into a partial coma while he hesitantly asked "do you have a account number?"  Which of course, snaps me back into reality asking myself "where am I?"

• I can't remember the names of my children. I am constantly calling Carlos,
  Cosme.  And I refer to Andres as "please get over here" and  "stop
  it."

• I start sentences that I am unable to coherently finish. (although that was true pre-chemo so I may have to get back to you on that one...)

• When going for my blood tests the other day, my mom and I discussed for a good five minutes at the front desk, how I could have possibly lost my insurance card and debit card at the same exact time. The conversation started with many unanswered questions and complete bewilderment as to how I lost both of them when I haven't been out of the house for six days....and then ended with, "Oh look! they're right here behind my Arco gift card!"  And, as an added bonus, they were right next to the keys that I couldn't find in the morning, resulting in a futile fifteen minute search. The receptionist was not as excited as I was with my recent findings.

• I think of super witty and fun blog posts I want to write and then two minutes later forget that I even have a blog.

• I traumatized my son for life tonight by letting him watch "Stand by Me."  I haven't seen it in at least 15 years.  I went on ad nauseum on how "he's gonna love it"....."how much I loved it"....it's such a great movie"...."I'm  positive the kids are your age. Yeah....I'm pretty sure they are." ."great boy bonding."...."blah, blahblahblah, BLAH."  Unfortunately, what I didn't remember was a) the kids are no where near his age they were twelve  b)  the movie is rated R.  "Mom of the Year" looked after the movie was over. And c)  Holy Mother of swear words!!!  It was like a biker bar at closing time....yet somehow even worse.  Of course I let him watch with Papa, who then walked over to me half way through it, and asked "have you seen this movie?"  To which I replied  "of course I I have! Do you think I'm an idiot?"

I'm an idiot.  Carlos told me that he wanted to return the movie and never ever see it again.  He said, and I quote, "those words really disturbed me."   I'm mortified.  Not wanting to lose my Mother of the Year status, I of course, blame it completely on his father who let him watch half the movie before telling me.  And, of course, Cosme refuses to take any blame and told Carlos to "make sure everyone knows mommy bought you that movie!"

I'm an idiot.

So realizing, that I am a menace to society and the downfall of my children, I've decided that my current job is to not go wandering aimlessly throughout the city anymore and just stay put in my house creating gift tags and collages.  Also, the boys are not allowed to watch anymore movies until they are 18 years old.  There.  Problems solved.  Well at least until I make it through the day with out a phone call from the school asking me to pick up Carlos for saying "dick head." 

I'm an idiot...... 

Studio Friday......

Need I Say More........

Studio Friday....What gives you hope?

When I saw the question this week, I knew without a doubt what gives me hope..........

It's these three guys.......

But especially these two...my babies.   It's funny....because, long before I had kids, I really never pictured myself as a parent.  I would always think, how can I take care of kids when I barely remembered to feed my cat.   I'm a person who has a bowl of cereal with bananas and strawberries and calls that a three course dinner.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I adore all my nieces.  And, I must say, that I was known as "Aunt Karin Good Times".  You know the type....the aunt that would do things with the kids whereby sending the mom's eyes to the back of the head.......For instance..... having ice cream for dinner........ Pulling out ALL the arts and crafts supplies and making a huge mess........Going boogie boarding all afternoon........Looking at my sisters completely perplexed when they brought up the idea of "bedtime".  However, as much fun as I had with those girls, when the week was up and it was time for them to go home, I would retire to my bed with a sigh of relief and a bowl of cereal for dinner and think......."THAT was ALOT of work.  Phew."   So, I knew I had absolutely no business having my own babies that I would actually be responsible for.....And had to feed real meals.....And make sure they were dressed appropriately.....  No business at all.......Then, I got pregnant.  Then, I had my baby.  Then, my entire world as I knew it changed. Changed forever.......  They are my hope.  They are my life.  They are my inspiration...... And if you must know, we DO sometimes have cereal for dinner.  And I discovered, that's OK.  If you put fruit in it, it can be indeed considered, at the very least, a two course meal!

 

Studio Friday.....LET'S FACE IT!

...whatever 'it' is. What have you been procrastinating about and dragging your heels to do? Does it concern your studio space like tidying up maybe or rearranging your desk or painting those walls in that wonderful new colour?   Yes...Yes it is!!!    Maybe you need to face something else like that awesome idea that has you sleepless at night because your inner critic has you chickening out planting doubts in your head? Yep...this too!!    Or maybe it is a whole lot of unfinished projects.....how did you know!??!, a letter that needs to be sent... yep, yep, yep, that tool needs buying.....I've needed a new wire cutter for weeks.

Even though I can answer a resounding yes to all of the above, I have to say that since I have started blogging and made a committment to being creative at least once a day, I have noticed a change in my productivity as well as my creativity.  Yes, yes, YES....I still have Christmas gifts that have turned into Valentine gifts that are now going to go under the auspices of HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!    And, I'm fully aware this is something that I still have to work on (so all friends and family who I know are reading this, you will someday get your stuff!).   It's that, and, also moving myself toward feeling like an artist and designer again.   When I was designing my baby layettes and picture frames, I felt more like a worker on a production line than a designer.  When you work on your own and do wholesale, it somehow turns more into getting that product out the door to the stores than dreaming up new ideas.   Nowadays, I am truly starting to feel more like an artist again.   However, I struggle with the feeling of where I belong in the world of art and design.   Does the world really need a new jewelry designer?   Do my collage & paper designs have a place next to all the other wonderfully talents artist out there?  I think that is my biggest hurdle to overcome right now.  My "IT". I remember when I was doing my baby clothing and I would read about other designer who set up shop.  I would read how they got started because they were desperately searching for a cute burp cloth that was nowhere to be found on the face of the earth.  And, I thought, first off, desperately search should only be followed by a new kidney or cure for a disease for my child; not burp cloth.  But, secondly, and most importantly, I do what I do because I love to do it.  Not because there is necessarily a NEED for it. 

So there IT is.  That is what my IT is to overcome.   I would LOVE to hear how other artist feel about this.  Do you also struggle with it.  Or is it something that eventually goes away......Or am I just a nut? (ok, don't answer that!)  Let me know what you think!!  I would love to hear other artist's thought on this!

Studio Friday....Favorite Quote....

Now that we are done with all the crazy partying from last Friday.....I see we are right back to business :)......I used to be a quote junkie.  I would collect all kinds of quotes. I would hang them up in my former studio like they were carvings on a tablet sent from the heavens above.  Eagerly look to them for the divine inspiration that was going to change my life.   But then I kind of got sick of quotes and became anti-quote artist.  I eschewed all quotes and what they stood for.  After much reflection, I realized that by merely reading the quote, my life was not going to transform suddenly and miraculously.  But, it was the action with which I took behind the quote that was going to make a difference.  I still can't stand to read the super popular ones....like, "Dance like you never danced....blah blah blah"  Once you see them everywhere, the quote seems to deflate like a balloon.   Nowadays, I tend to gravitate toward the obscure quotes or even unintentional quotes like this......

It was originally intended for weight loss in an article of oprah.  However, I took it to mean life and goals in general.  It really has made a big difference for me in my pursuit to reconnect with my art.  And I put it on the cover of my inspiration journal.  It's the perfect quote for immediate gratification, perfectionists who tend to procrastinate........like myself.

Here are some more great quotes from Studio Friday

 

Studio Friday....The Creative Block....

First off......HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....HAPPY BIRTHDAY STUDIO FRIDAY......HAPPY 2 YEAR BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!   I've only been participating in Studio Friday for the past few months.  But I have met many wonderful blogging friends along the way.  Not to mention, making myself write about and think about things in a way I normally wouldn't.   I am so glad that I discovered SF as it has been very inspiring for me........

Which leads me to how this topic is so timely for me.  The whole reason I decided to blog is to try to get rid of the creative block that has been haunting me since I stopped my design business 4 years ago.  I explained here and here how it all came about.  Since I have stopped the quest for perfection and have gone back to creating for myself (and not reps) I have found that I am moving around that huge block that has been sitting in the middle of my road to creativity.  Also, I have discovered this whole new world of blogging that I didn't even know existed until my friend Joe introduced it to me.  I am blown away at how many generous creative souls there are out there.  And since having my 2 year old precludes me from taking classes or getting together with other like minded individuals at this moment, the blog world has opened up a whole new adventure for me.  Thank you Studio Friday....and thank YOU fellow bloggers who stop by to say hi and who are kind enough to share a piece of creativity with the rest of us. 

Studio Friday....that always seems to turn into Studio Saturday.......

When I read the topic this week, I thought "they can read my mind".   Seriously.   The night before I read about the topic, my husband and I were just discussing the hows & whats of my "studio".  Currently I am in the dining room, turned office, turned jewelry making/crafting wannabe space.  It's not working. After attempting to organize my space for the thousandth time,  I finally realized that what I really need is space to work and create.  I can organize my space to 10th degree, but if I don't have a space to work, what's the point.  I formerly occupied one of the bays of our 4 car garage.  It's now being used as a storage space by my husband.   He wants to finish what we started 2 years ago when we began to refurbish it as my studio.  But the reality is I still need to be in the house where the kids are so that I can squeeze more time in between naps and video watching and such.   

The picture above is from Jo Packman's "Where Women Create"  (Disclaimer:  I have no idea if this is legal for me to be posting these pictures.  If you can no longer access my blog after today, it means I am entangled in a nasty copyright battle and you can speak with me through my team of lawyers)  Oh ....how I love that book. I still remember they day I received it and how I slowly turned each page drinking in each and every wonderous space. I actually keep it bedside so I can thumb through it and later have sweet dreams of myself creating beautiful baubles and gifts in my perfectly appointed dream studio.   

I love this next picture.  I love the way space doesn't limit this artist from being creative and creating her art.   The profile of this artist spoke directly to my inner procrastinator which is usually saying something like: "when I have the perfect space to create, I will be creative."  But that isn't true.  Creativity isn't based on the size of your physical space.  It's based on your determination to create.  So, as lovely as the rooms in the book are, and how I covet each and every one of them, I realize that that beautiful spaces are frosting on the cake of art.   

Oh, the places you will go........

I was thinking about this topic for the past few days.  When I first read it, I somewhat panicked.  Travels? Travels to places...... Wait a minute. I don't travel anymore.  Well, not unless, of course, you count my 8 minute commute to Carlos'  school or my travels to the grocery store and Target (does drinking a "Dolce con Leche" coffee while grocery shopping count as an "exotic" travel?).  I then pondered the idea of traveling back in time a couple of weeks ago to the Studio Friday topic of White.  Yes. White. White is good.  I can do that. 

But, then, I got to thinking.  Wait a minute.....I do travel.  As a matter of fact I travel almost every day.  Just for instance, yesterday, I traveled to the brink of insanity and back when I was trying to find a certain child's shoes who was still in his underwear while late for school with a  2 year old crying in the background. There are also other places I travel. Places that are a bit more pleasant......For example, here is a picture of my daily jaunt to  "Geo Track Land"

And then there is the "Island of Sodor"

We are also frequent visitors at the "Bear's Big Blue House"

So, although, these days my travel is limited, my kids provide me with inspiration everyday.  As the youngest is getting older, I can see more trips to Baja and other surrounding states in the near future.  So in the meantime I will travel via blogs to other folks more "exotic" travels. 

Studio Friday......Blah Colors

With all due respect towards the military, I had to add some camouflage to this group.  The others are just a bad combination of colors all the way around.   When I first read about this challenge I thought to myself, "why I love all colors!"   Then I passed by the awful yellow and brown house down the street with the fake blue and pink flowers in the front, which got me to thinking about the circus candy orange condo complex around the corner.  I thought to myself there are colors that are just like nails across a chalkboard.   So I present to you my collage of blech colors. Enjoy!

STUDIO FRIDAY.....I'm So Predictable.........

Seriously.......I am.  I work with the same colors. I rarely venture out of my comfort zone of pastels and soft colors.  Once I get into a comfort zone I usually stay there.  My friends tease me that if if I am ever kidnapped that they would be able to describe my outfit right down to the nailpolish. which by the way , nowadays is none..... "Um...I haven't seen her for days.  But I can assure you she is wearing jean capri's and a spaghetti shelf tank top in either black or white...possibly pink if she was feeling really wild today."    Some could say it's my signature style.  Others could say I'm just boring.  I think this year, I am going to make a resolution to incorporate a new color every time I buy a predictable item.

With fabrics I usually stay within the "vintagy" floral fabrics.  There is just something that draws me to them.  Although, it's funny, because I absolutely adore Stephanie's stuff over at  http://rodrigvitzstyle.typepad.com/   It's bright & colorful and I am instantly drawn to it.  But yet it's totally opposite of what kind of colors I use.  I think it's interesting to contemplate what we use in our craft.  Like I said above, for me it's part comfort, part intrinsic preference.  What ever it is, I think that's what makes us all so interesting as crafters and artist.